You probably just read that title and was like…. ummmm, what? Yeah, I’m switching it up a little bit today from the usual fashion/beauty-inspired blog post! However this topic keeps creeping into my daily conversations, so I felt like it needed to be discussed:
How to Choose Yourself
It may sound silly or ridiculous but I’ve been hearing a TON of women lately struggling in this area and they don’t even realize it. Whether you’re in your early 20s or a mom in your 30s or an empty-nester in your 50s/60s, this applies to you. You’ve been putting everyone and everything before yourself lately and that just needs to stop now, k?
Before we get into the nitty gritty of this, I want to be very clear. Choosing yourself is NOT selfish. You are worthy of care. That’s the first thing I hear when I challenge someone to take better care of themself. “But I can’t be selfish!” YES, YOU CAN and I’m going to get into why with you today, but let’s just get rid of that thought first, k?
So if you’re like me, you want to take care of EVERYONE! Your husband, kids, siblings, parents, friends, coworkers, pets, everyone! We do it daily, without a thought, but the last person’s needs we consider are our own! This needs to stop. Why? Its like a car: If you don’t service it, change its oil, fill up the gas tank, at some point it just stops. Well we do the same thing: we don’t stop to evaluate what we need, we burn ourselves out, run on empty and at some point, we break down AND when we do break down, we think of all the warning lights on our dashboard that we ignored, all the moments we’ve missed and we’re just spent.
So paying attention to what we need, taking care of ourselves and listening to our bodies all helps us serve those around us better and from a better place AND even helps us to be more present in those moments!
So you may be sitting there rolling your eyes and saying to yourself, “so what? I need to establish some elaborate morning routine that I don’t have time for and that’s going to cure it all?” Yes and No.
Yes, a morning routine is important. Yes, it requires waking up a little earlier. I’ll make a bet with you:
Establish a DOABLE morning routine and try it for a week and let me know what differences you see in your day and yourself.
Yes, my morning routine might be longer than you can put into your day bc I work from home and don’t punch a timecard everyday, but choose TWO THINGS to put into your morning. Two things (reading, prayer, morning pages, a quick workout, no phone til you’re done getting ready, starting your day with water, etc) for one week and get back to me on what you see.
What’s more important than the specifics of the routine is sticking to it for a week. Gals, we are SO QUICK to break promises to ourselves every single second of every single day. I’m going to wake up early. I’m going to workout. I’m not going to drink soda today. I’m going to, I’m going to, I’m going to, but we break those promises without batting an eye!
Why is it that we promise everyone else in our lives SO many things, but we break our own promises so easily?
Yes, sometimes waking up is painful. Yes, it is SO much easier to just hit snooze. But I’m telling you, when you keep your promise to wake up early, you end up feeling so great about it as the day goes on. Who doesn’t brag when they wake up at 5am?? Keeping promises to yourself helps you choose yourself and I’m pretty sure you’re worth it!
I tend to pray in the shower each morning. I’m a natural multitasker and with the routine I try to stick to, its necessary to double up on some things: podcasts while working out, coffee while reading, praying while showering, you get it! So one day a few weeks ago while in the shower, I was having a pity party. I wasn’t feeling very successful in anything I was doing business wise, I felt like the boys were hating me, etc – you know all those crazy thoughts we have – and something just became really apparent to me.
I was being really negative at that time (not just in the shower, but that time as a whole. I could critique everything, find something wrong in any situation, just an all-around nit picking pro. That negativity was seeping into everything around me and it just didn’t feel too good.
What’s the opposite of consistent bc that was me. I said I would (fill in the blank) and it just never stuck. I was expecting big changes in all areas after doing something once or twice and when I didn’t (bc you know it doesn’t work like that!), I would give up. The lack of consistency in my life was astounding!
Fear. Ooooh fear just knows how to grab me and rattle me into a big ol’ scaredy cat, not wanting to put myself out there or try anything bc I’ll clearly fail so let’s not even try. Even picking up the phone to order takeout, nope! I’ll get Mike to do that bc underneath the crazy there, its all fear. And fear of what??? The guy who answers the phone at the Chinese place?? Why be afraid of him? I don’t know guys, but I was more content being in my safe little space, not trying to talk to anyone new. Fear, its consuming sometimes.
So without getting uber spiritual, that morning in the shower, three words came to mind that I immediately wrote on our chalkboard wall and have subsequently wrote as my Top 3 Priorities on my High Performance Planner every morning and repeat to myself any time I question something:
Positive | Consistent | Bold
If I can answer yes to whatever it is, that I’m being Positive, Consistent and Bold, then I am living and being the best version of myself. If not, I need to start being Positive, Consistent and Bold right that second. You know what else, Choosing Yourself is being Positive, Consistent and Bold! Gals, life FLIES by – Hunter was an infant what feels like yesterday and now he’s outgrown me. Life FLIES by. Do you want to be in your 70s and have a younger person ask you what you learned most in life and just sit there drained, unfulfilled and full of regret wishing that you chose yourself? Wishing that you put yourself out there more? Wishing that you did more for you in order to serve those around you better? I sure don’t! I want to be fabulous and wrinkled in a black leather moto jacket and a pair of leopard shoes and say, “Positive, Consistent and Bold.”